(Yes, it's satire.) Hume's ANTI-NEWS Reality, only worse. Newsflash # 74: BLACK FRIDAY BOOT-CAMP: PREPARE FOR THE HOLIDAY STAMPEDE! In the last few years, 'Black Friday' has marked the official kickoff of the Holiday shopping. But Black Friday has also Lonely wife wants hot sex Wakefield become known as a 24 hour free-for-all, where customers turn into zombies, attacking each other in a greed induced frenzy, so they can acquire non essential items at rock bottom prices. Now, there's finally a solution to all this violence. don't get trampled or body slammed this coming Black Friday. Sign up now for Black Friday BootCamp®, and learn to defend yourself as you stampede your way towards that 90% markdown across the store. "The other shoppers they're the enemy. So muscle up!" said McHaggis, former Chicago Bears linebacker, and founder of Black Friday BootCamp®. "Black Friday is combat shopping. So I offer the amateur shopper a playbook of attack strategies. When you join up, you're nothing but a soft, plump bucket of goo. But when you graduate, you'll be a weaponized shopping machine." "Last year I broke ribs and lost an earlobe", said 43 year old grandma Horkin. "This year, I'm taking no prisoners! That Hello cozy is mine!" At Black Friday BootCamp®, the only rule is there are no rules. "Hesitate and you're dead!", said Black Friday BootCamp Sergeant Gaffey. "Find that opening, and savage your way to the front of the pack." One of the most effective Black Friday techniques is the 'Cannonball'. Simply climb onto the shoulders of the rioter in front of you. Then jump forward, pulling your knees into your chest, landing full force onto the crowd. "This is best done with steel toed boots", said Black Friday expert Smackworth. "Being obese helps a lot too." Other suggested tactics are the 'swan dive', the 'barrel roll', the 'roundhouse' and the 'handful of marbles'. "I tossed like a hundred of them out in front of me", said extreme combat shopper. "People went down like bowling pins. And I nabbed that -!" (continued) Wife looking sex tonight Minden I like to experiment m4w There are some things I'd like to try that I don't get to do very often, and I'm looking for the willing, curious, adventurous partner. She must be DDF, attractive, between 25-40, physiy and mentally fit, and discreet. If this is you, and you don't care about certain issues, and are willing to help me out, e-mail me. I am real. It's gray, overcast, and cool in North Little Rock. You need to be able to host. I have the wheels. Let's make this a memorable two weeks for both of us. New rochelle fuck wife. wife swap personals, swinger clubs tentacle orgy Search, free sex videos. Hentai 3D Girl Penetrated by Tentacle. (5 min) sex rated 91% Svarog tentacle porn. (1 min sec) sex Married and looking for discrete friend leave my situation. Just add a spark that burnt out. I'm clean ddf hwp. Play safe 73only. Monday thru Friday 88 chat and meet. Some Saturdays.

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