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Interestingly enough, I read these much daily. Mostly they're humorous, but like the rest of you out there, a small part of me likes the bit of hope some people seem to still have. I haven't missed any connections, that I know of. And I never understood the postings on here where it seemed some people just needed to "bare their souls." Until now. Maybe everyone goes through something that they have to go alone. That's a really hard thing to do. I don't know about the rest of you, but what helps me out a lot of the time is having friends that have my back. People I can talk to about whatever shit is going on and regardless of their advice, it's just nice to be able to say out loud. But what if what you have to say can't be said out loud? What if it's not your secret to tell? What if it's one of the people you love the most in the world's secret? And not only that, what if it affects your life completely too? Maybe it's not about me, this secret. Actually, at the root of it, it's not at all. But it directly affects my life and my happiness. Where do you start in a situation like this? This secret has the potential for a great life or, if not gone about properly, the potential to his life. I feel like it all balances on how I decide to broach the subject. I know the answer to the question I have to ask him, maybe not the depth, but is he ready to answer it for himself? But I can't be happy in this life living someone else's and pretending I don't know what I know, can I? It's really not very fair, to either of us... On that , when the fuck did life become so complicated? When we're , we have on colored glasses (yeah it's cliche', fuck you). But have a hopefulness in them that allowed us all at one point to believe that someday life's kinks would somehow unravel themselves out and the whole thing would be straight and easy. This is an insurmountable measure of bullshit. Life does not wife looking sex tonight New Bethlehem get easier, choices do not make themselves for you, there is no fate, and the man in the sky does not exist. Still, I have shit to figure out apparently. This isn't to anyone and although I'm a woman, I am not seeking a man, though makes you choose one. I suppose I just finally understand the need people have in this world to say something out loud, even when you're not supposed to. I guess it's the notion that if you keep too many demons inside you, won't you eventually become one yourself? Well fuck that. Good luck to any of you out there with any demons brewing too...
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