whom ever said"It is better to have loved n lost" fuck you! It is better to never have loved then to ever love then lose. I hate you! Its not enough. That phrase is not even near the tip of the anger (hurt) I have toward you. You sat and heard my soul exposing of my past. Acting as if you gave a damn about me. The worst is after I confess my feelings toward you, you ask for a relationship and nothing more, which I allowed since it was all you offered. Yet as time went on you implied you had deeper feelings which I had now masked in my self. Then when I once again throw my self openly and totally, giving my entire being you tell me that you no longer want me? How dare you! Using my weakness against me and to what gain for your self? You say I was your first which I no longer belive, for what wants to just give away a gift to an individual who they plan on not having in their life? Yes I might have a age as well as mentally being older then even some of my own elders. How ever I am emotionally a and will always be due to the vast amount of I endured in my lifetime. While I know that at this age I can chose to change my , I see no reason to. Not one person has evertold me the truth of how they feel about me. why the seemingly out of the blue decide I am no longer worth their time. Oh I know I have secrets and habits I developed during my aging process. For this I am sorry, I do try to break them, but I need them to keep everyone at a distance so that I may exist in this plane with out losing my sanity. I love you and I have delt with the lack of acceptance, care , nuture and love. This is how I protect my self...FUCK OFF NEVER IN THIS LIFETIME SPEAK TO ME, SEE YOU USED me. I will never forgive that until in forget you. You could have had me if you chose to. You did not So fuck you BiTCh (Its because I love you, I imagined that it would be our place to run, that you wanted to have a family with me, I can never get that out of my head. You took the very last piece of my heart left. Its all gone now I feel cold and numb, do you understand! I could have kept that little piece left after all these years now I am empty and its my fault for loving you. Which I will all ways do. My .I love you (now please never speak to me as the pain will drive me crazy because you will never chose me this I know?)
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