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I live in southeast Denver. I am a bit tipsy, not bad but couldn't hurt if I had a few more perhaps. Anyhow. I just got home from hanging out with friends and I'm still in the mood to hang out and get to know some new people. Any takers? No, I don't drive but I'm good company. Friends only. I'm a good person. I have many interests. Photography, movies, live music, tattoos, etc. I know its nearly 1:35 am.. but perhaps if anything, a good conversation could happen? :)
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I felt really bad after the proceedings yesterday, I feel like even though it worked out for me, you may feel that you got cheated and didn't get the satisfaction you deserve from me or the court or that they took you seriously enough, I thought she bullied you into the mediation and I feel bad about that.
I wish I hadnt been so defensive and had taken more time to thank you for everything you did for me, little and big. You have changed my life for the better in ways I have never been able to thank you for.
I also realize the HUGE amount of trust you put in me by agreeing to the arbitration. I will not let you down.
I was worried to see that you were all alone and worried that you have no one to lean on and that you are still afraid.
What I diodnt clarify is that YES, I DO have a problem with letting you go, I DID bother you after you said it was over, I DID want you back and truthfully I would take you back and wipe the slate clean in a second if you say the word, but you DO NOT have to be afraid of me, I will never hurt you and I am sorry that I scared you. I have been told the same things over and over by all the women I have met since you so I know you are not making it up.
I also regret not offering you the stipulation that I go to therapy, it really hurt to have you look me in the face and tell me to never contact you again and that you think I'm mentally ill, I always wanted to be your protector and be of sound mind and body in your eyes, I have only proven that I am neither and I am so sorry, you deserve SO MUCH, please be careful and don't sell yourself short.
I was a huge bully and I feel like the system let you down, I am SO SORRY that I ever put the woman I love more that ANYONE in this situation and I assure you that I will not interfere with your life or your sons' and I will not contact you directly even after two years, although I will still love you then as sure as I am alive today and it is KILLING me that I can't and talk to you about all this, I have to respect that you need to move on and forget me.
but if you ever feel like giving mediation a chance for closure or if you just want to yell at me or email me or anything I WILL read it ALL and will not respond.
Seeing you looking so sad but so beautiful yesterday tore my heart out all over again, I smoked two packs since then, smoking reminds me of you lol.
If there is any way seeing me made you want to this whole thing off, please just say the word.
I'm just throwing that out there, I wish I had said it yesterday. I hope that you at least have someone that is treating you good and who cares enough to comfort you now because you need it.
I think that judge was an idiot and didnt listen to you, the mediator took my side too, it wasn't fair, I should have given you more than I did, I hope you go to the convention and have the time of your life this is your summer M, please be happy like you deserve. I have no hard feelings, I just miss you so.
No woman will ever be able to out rank you in my heart, EVER, even if you see me married with kids someday, you deserve to know that it is my second choice at best next to having you in my life.
I deleted your numbers so there is no way I can you even if I have a moment of weakness. I am trying so hard to succeed in my own life too, I have a lot of people depending on me and a lot to lose by getting in trouble, I'm sorry it took that wake up for me to respect your right to be left alone, It doesnt mean that I want to hurt you though, but dont get me wrong I am still sad we broke up and wish it wasnt so.
I needed to say this, I hope you saw it.
We can make our own rules if you choose to try again someday. Love you always.
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