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going crazy....now on looking for advise I don't know what to do. I have been with my current girlfriend for over 5 years now. I am currently 25. We have always had our problems and we always came up with ways to overcome such issues. To be honest....we've been cat and mouse since the first year. The only thing that has kept me locked on to her is...I've always had so much love for her and couldn't imagine losing her. Now things have changed. I'm tired of the fights and seriously wondering if there is a future with her. Let me back track a little. Short summary is we have lived together for like 2 years when we first met....we fought alot....made up alot. We had a house and ended up moving out and going back to each of our parents houses. No bad reason, I was just going back to and she was refocusing on hers as well. Main reason we moved out was its cheaper not paying rent. Fast forward to present. We both got jobs and apartments in different areas, she has a great career but has to do some grind work for 2 years working night shifts. Because of her new schedule i rarely get to see her. It has been very lonely at times but I was able to grin and bear it. But as time passes I feel as if we are no longer as close as we used to be. I started to reevaluate our relationship. I have heavily integrated myself into her family...she avoids mine. Granted I have very scary traditional parents...but it always bothers me she has no interest in my family at all. We see each other maybe 4 times a month....and we still manage to get into fights. She doesn't hold or hug me the way she used to do, things just seem more distant. Then I thought about marriage. I realized I don't want to this girl. She is an amazing person who has in turn molded me into what I am now, which I am very grateful for. But in the end i know I can't keep it up, but I have no idea how or when to end it. She is still on night shifts...which makes her life/social life very difficult and stressful. She also recently purchased a out of country trip for us (which she didn't tell me about when she bought it) that I never wanted but couldn't tell her without a fight. That trip is in Feb which is already paid for. Christmas is coming up. Valentines Day as well. It seems that there is never going to be a good time. What do I do? And what do I say? She still means a lot to me and I respect and loved her enough to try and make this as right as I can. But what? Do I tell her now right before Christmas? Her birthday not that long ago either. I want to wait till after She is working day shifts or after the Trip. But will she feel like i used her? That is not ever my intent. If I tell her now, Im afraid that with her job and sleep schedule this will be too much for her to deal with, I don't want her doing something stupid that could ruin her career. ie: being distracted or anything of the sort. I know she will be distracted no matter what but I want her to have her friends there and a social life instead of stuck in the nigh time hours with no one to help. AND WHAT DO I SAY? I don't want to you(That is were she is thinking we will end up,she has brought it up)?? That is really really not what I want to say. I want it to be the right time and right word. I owe her a lot, and she deserves better and a fucked up breakup. Yea no matter what the breakup will be terrible, but no matter what I want the best for her and want it to be as easy on her as possible. She deserves at least that much. I know that was a huge rant but I don't knopw what to do and honestly feel trapped.

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